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Misery Index: 6/27/10

June 27, 2010

Welcome to this week’s Misery Index, the rock bottom of parenting.

If your kids are looking for cancer, I guess they’ll have to take up smoking, like they did in the old days.

Michael Jackson’s kids are off to school for the first time. That should fix them right up.

Experts are puzzling over why so many more women don’t have kids by the time they’re in their 40s now as compared to the 1970s. It could be because kids are wicked annoying.

Barack Obama hates cheap blueberries.

If you use a backless booster seat, you may as well feed your kid into a wood chipper. Dick.

Being trapped in a hot car in the summertime is bad for candy bars, electronics, and children, just FYI.

A new study “hints” that having multiple children increases a woman’s risk of stroke. Studies are so coy.

Target wants you to know that one of the zillion cheap-ass accessories that find their way from their store into your home, like the grains of sand that get into your car seats when you go to the beach no matter how careful you are, might contain an unfortunate amount of lead. Good luck figuring out of you own one of these.

Some hardcore Jews in Israel went all Orval Faubus and refused to allow Sephardic girls into their school. They want you to know it’s not at all like racism, though.

A bunch of parents in California decided a kindergarten graduation would be a great place to crack some skulls.

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